<br />
Well, nothing major blogwise...i'm just trying to make sure that i keep things moving and keep in touch with the people in my life, soooo without further adieu, 5 crazy azz things i've witnessed recently that I think y'all will find funny...<br />
<br />
5.) Milwaukee drivers<br />
- We haven't gotten much rain lately, and people in MKE drive like douchebags anyway; so when we got nice little storm over last weekend...i found myself witness to several accidents (6 to be exact) between Glendale and Waukesha. All of which were caused by people in raggedy azz automobiles doing 70+mph on the highway in traffic. Slow it down people!<br />
4.) Vagina's @ weddings...<br />
- Ladies, i know y'all don't want panty lines in that skin tight dress that you lost 10 lbs just to squeeze into for your cousin's wedding reception...but, remember...now that you weigh all of 95lbs your alcohol tolerance will suck based on your weight. Though the dj (i.e. ME) doesn't mind stellar commando cameltoe viewing angles during the cha cha slide, Im sure your family does not. Pictures are worth a thousand words, and trust me there are a lot of cameras and/or videographers at weddings.<br />
3.) Toddler almost drowning at lakefront...<br />
- Well, somebody's parents felt necessary to let their 3-5 yr old wade into Lake Michigan whilst they chatted together about 30-40 ft. away. Pandemonium ensued when the two people realized that hey, where the heck is my kid? Oh yea, floating face down in the water as the tide takes her out to sea. People please, watch your children.<br />
2.) Bad calls by NBA referee's...<br />
- C'mon, all I got to say is if Westbrook is damn near going to the hoop every time in a game that he scores over 40 points and only getting to the line 2-3 times and then you see Lebron getting breathed on and getting fouls...hmmm, come on NBA!?<br />
1.) Cheetos Commercial...</span><br />
"I can still see you..."<br />
"Yes, we know"<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxWpU2IIzXI&feature=g-like">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxWpU2IIzXI&feature=g-like</a>
<br />
<br />
- Reno
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Top 5 most ludicrous things i've witnessed this month as of right now...
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
My e-cig: My journey of "healthy" addictions...
Nice short awesome blog. Recently a co-worker recommended a certain e-cigarette; one out of many that he had did research on, so I figured I hadn't had much to lose. Things have been going fairly well in my life so I guess the next thing on my agenda is to work on my health. So, here are the vitals on the e-cig that I chose that's been helping me keep off of tobacco.
Company: South Beach Smoke
Website: www.southbeachsmoke.com
Types of E-Cigs: Deluxe and Premium (I have the Deluxe, which needs no maintenance other than charging the battery.
Pros:
- BBB (Better Business Bureau) accredited business with an A- rating as of right now.
- 10 Flavors
- Low Mainentance
- Vapor, no tar and crap from tobacco in here
Cons:
- Though the cartridges last a few days (for me), I don't think they last as long as the website says they do.
Now, I'm letting people know up front, I'm no scientist. So, I am not by any means saying this is an end all be all way to quit cigarettes or that it is a risk free alternative. I did my research online and in the library and learned about the effects that Nicotine has on the body. My concern really lies in making sure that I'm eliminating the majority of garbage that is in tobacco related cigarettes.
So, as of today, I have been smoke free for about 2 weeks now. Honestly, for me the e-cigarette helps me get rid of the craving that I have to smoke in my car. I started smoking in my car while I was in college at UWM, so it gave me a cleaner alternative to smoking in my car when I'm on my way to DJ over the weekends. So, at the end of the day, I really would recommend this company to someone that wants to try e-cigarettes as a healthier alternative to smoking. It may not help you stop smoking but it did reduce the urge for me, the flavors are good that the vapor is very close to the sensation that you get from smoking regular cigarettes. So, if you're looking to stop soon, check out the www.southbeachsmoke.com site. I give it my seal of approval.
If you guys have any questions about my personal experience with e-cigs, feel free to message me and i'll reply.
- Reno
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Top Statements Guys Can Say To Their Significant Other To Initiate ANGRY MAKE UP SEX!
Hello America,
Q: Who doesn't love "Angry Make-Up Sex"?
A: Single people, that's who!
I feel very comical right now so I am going to make a nice silly little blog for any of my homies who has a wife, girlfriend, significant other, etc. I urge y'all not to use these on females you don't know too well or are casually dating as to not upset them to the point of causing bodily harm to you or your possessions.
Disclaimer: Reno is in no way shape or form responsible for any or all physical, mental, or emotional damages caused by a female reaction to the below statements, also if you are female you may not find most if not all of these statements not too funny. The intent of this blog is to make you angry enough to have ANGRY MAKE-UP SEX with your significant other.
With that said,
HERE WE GO!
- "Your awesome but next time we do it, can you do __________ just a little better?"
Honestly, this statement isn't too harsh...unless used in the right context. First off, you've got to spring this statement on your unsuspecting chick at a super random time, such as right before she leaves for work, or send her a text while she's at the grocery store so that it is inconvenient for her to initiate a rebuttal. When the subject comes up when you guys are in person be as specific as possible maybe write down notes on a notepad or Google a fetish website with instructions on how to perform a certain act and give it to her. Ex. Your oral sex could use some practice, and then give her a diagram with notes on how to do it better.
- "Well, I'd rather _______ before we get started." or "After I _________, we can do it."
Women use this trick on us all the time and then when they're done doing the aforementioned task, their too tired or fatigued to give up the goods. Trust me this will work for us 10 fold. In nature, women typically hold the key that unlocks the mating ritual, if you close that door and break the lock off of it, prepare for some hostility. They think that since we're men, that we always want sex and that when they want it from their partner that they'll get it every time. If you deny them this satisfaction, it's pretty funny (no wonder they do it to us all the time). This can only be used when you're lady is mega horny, ovulating, wanting to do the horizontal polka, etc. But only if she is trying to initiate sexual activity. Ex. "Mmmm, you look so sexy tonight, once the 7th inning is over I'm going to lay you down..." but once the game is almost over, fall asleep for real on the couch with a beer in your hand. If she tries to wake you up by flirting, fart on her and tell her you need to take a shower because you might've had an accident.
- "Baby if I had the opportunity to do Random Celebrity I totally would." or "You're hot babe, but you ain't got S*** on Random Celebrity."
This is a fairly common statement that us men use out of our natural lust for hot, scantily clad, top heavy actresses and or musicians. Little do most guys know that if this statement comes out of our mouth in front of our significant others (as long as it's not in public) it can usually burrow its way into the female psyche almost as a challenge. Almost as a contest, where once sexual interaction is finished your woman can turn over buck naked, sweat dripping down her back, and hair tangled and say "I bet Random Celebrity can't give it to you LIKE THAT!." A cocky, and challenged WOMAN is a happy and spicy WOMAN. Just make sure that the Random Celebrity that you reference is not a total skeeze bag such as but not limited to Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, or any woman that you've seen on an MTV reality show. Cause you don't want to insult your lady or have her try to match the challenge of outdoing a prostitute (unless you want your salad tossed or some f'd up things of that nature.
- Use "Baby Talk" all the way into the bedroom...
Being condescending is another tactic that women have been using on us for years. But, common sense and a light touch needs to be used in this instance as to not completely turn off your woman. Use it almost as a way (and use common sense in judging your lady's mood) to make you seem over sensitive. Like this...Ex. "Awe, baby you're so cute tonight, I'll give you a nice little back rub. Awe, if you don't want to [have sex] we don't have to, with the day you've had YOU PROBABLY CAN'T HANDLE IT." This only works to your advantage if your woman is not tired, if she is...she probably will take the opportunity to fall asleep during the back rub. There is only a chance for angry make-up sex if she's wide awake and knows you're being condescending (such as if it's the afternoon and she's been doing low stress hobbies all day such as knitting or baking...I don't think its a good idea if you want angry make up sex to use this tactic right after work, seeing as she might find this as you being nice and SHE WILL FALL ASLEEP DURING THE BACK RUB). Also, if you are going to use this tactic, you have to say YOU PROBABLY CAN'T HANDLE IT, to initiate a challenge on her behalf and WOMEN love challenges.
- Invite your lady to join you in one of your hobbies and then criticize her on how she performs...
Ha, this one is cool. For this example I'm going to use video games as the hobby. Invite your girlfriend to play Call of Duty with you (If you are a guy, YOU HAVE THIS GAME) and then criticize her on how bad she is. Usually this will lead to Angry Make Up Sex as a way to over-perform from her crappy video game play. That is if she doesn't go 35 & 6 in a Domination match. If she happens to be a Call Of Duty aficionado or master at whatever game you decide to play do not fret. Once you are done playing, say --jovially-- "Damn baby, you did great! Now if you put this much effort into the bedroom, I'd be in a perfect world." --- Angry Make Up Sex on the horizon.
Now, just to reiterate, this is not for ladies (well, maybe you women can use this against us men or use it as a reference to know when we are trying to get ANGRY MAKE UP SEX out of you) and for you fellows, this is just a few of many things that you can use to get your ANGRY MAKE UP SEX fix. Let me know if there are anymore things y'all can come up with to say to our ladies to initiate this wonderful experience.
Peace Out,
Reno
P.S. I also used my girlfriend and roommate as female references as not to overly offend the opposite sex. If I did, I'm sorry...unless it leads to ANGRY MAKE UP SEX, and then I'm not sorry!
- "Well, I'd rather _______ before we get started." or "After I _________, we can do it."
Women use this trick on us all the time and then when they're done doing the aforementioned task, their too tired or fatigued to give up the goods. Trust me this will work for us 10 fold. In nature, women typically hold the key that unlocks the mating ritual, if you close that door and break the lock off of it, prepare for some hostility. They think that since we're men, that we always want sex and that when they want it from their partner that they'll get it every time. If you deny them this satisfaction, it's pretty funny (no wonder they do it to us all the time). This can only be used when you're lady is mega horny, ovulating, wanting to do the horizontal polka, etc. But only if she is trying to initiate sexual activity. Ex. "Mmmm, you look so sexy tonight, once the 7th inning is over I'm going to lay you down..." but once the game is almost over, fall asleep for real on the couch with a beer in your hand. If she tries to wake you up by flirting, fart on her and tell her you need to take a shower because you might've had an accident.
- "Baby if I had the opportunity to do Random Celebrity I totally would." or "You're hot babe, but you ain't got S*** on Random Celebrity."
This is a fairly common statement that us men use out of our natural lust for hot, scantily clad, top heavy actresses and or musicians. Little do most guys know that if this statement comes out of our mouth in front of our significant others (as long as it's not in public) it can usually burrow its way into the female psyche almost as a challenge. Almost as a contest, where once sexual interaction is finished your woman can turn over buck naked, sweat dripping down her back, and hair tangled and say "I bet Random Celebrity can't give it to you LIKE THAT!." A cocky, and challenged WOMAN is a happy and spicy WOMAN. Just make sure that the Random Celebrity that you reference is not a total skeeze bag such as but not limited to Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, or any woman that you've seen on an MTV reality show. Cause you don't want to insult your lady or have her try to match the challenge of outdoing a prostitute (unless you want your salad tossed or some f'd up things of that nature.
- Use "Baby Talk" all the way into the bedroom...
Being condescending is another tactic that women have been using on us for years. But, common sense and a light touch needs to be used in this instance as to not completely turn off your woman. Use it almost as a way (and use common sense in judging your lady's mood) to make you seem over sensitive. Like this...Ex. "Awe, baby you're so cute tonight, I'll give you a nice little back rub. Awe, if you don't want to [have sex] we don't have to, with the day you've had YOU PROBABLY CAN'T HANDLE IT." This only works to your advantage if your woman is not tired, if she is...she probably will take the opportunity to fall asleep during the back rub. There is only a chance for angry make-up sex if she's wide awake and knows you're being condescending (such as if it's the afternoon and she's been doing low stress hobbies all day such as knitting or baking...I don't think its a good idea if you want angry make up sex to use this tactic right after work, seeing as she might find this as you being nice and SHE WILL FALL ASLEEP DURING THE BACK RUB). Also, if you are going to use this tactic, you have to say YOU PROBABLY CAN'T HANDLE IT, to initiate a challenge on her behalf and WOMEN love challenges.
- Invite your lady to join you in one of your hobbies and then criticize her on how she performs...
Ha, this one is cool. For this example I'm going to use video games as the hobby. Invite your girlfriend to play Call of Duty with you (If you are a guy, YOU HAVE THIS GAME) and then criticize her on how bad she is. Usually this will lead to Angry Make Up Sex as a way to over-perform from her crappy video game play. That is if she doesn't go 35 & 6 in a Domination match. If she happens to be a Call Of Duty aficionado or master at whatever game you decide to play do not fret. Once you are done playing, say --jovially-- "Damn baby, you did great! Now if you put this much effort into the bedroom, I'd be in a perfect world." --- Angry Make Up Sex on the horizon.
Now, just to reiterate, this is not for ladies (well, maybe you women can use this against us men or use it as a reference to know when we are trying to get ANGRY MAKE UP SEX out of you) and for you fellows, this is just a few of many things that you can use to get your ANGRY MAKE UP SEX fix. Let me know if there are anymore things y'all can come up with to say to our ladies to initiate this wonderful experience.
Peace Out,
Reno
P.S. I also used my girlfriend and roommate as female references as not to overly offend the opposite sex. If I did, I'm sorry...unless it leads to ANGRY MAKE UP SEX, and then I'm not sorry!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Dear Mr. President (Barack Obama)
Dear Mr. President (Barack Obama),
I just want you to know that I watched your State Of The Union speech last night. It was pretty cool, there were many points that you addressed that I agreed with. I'm also happy that you gave many examples of how things in the nation are getting better. It was awesome that you mentioned "Milwaukee, WI" (because that's where I live) in your speech when you were talking about the employment market and how the Master Lock factory is working at capacity because it wants to keep its business and employees in the U.S. In my mind, its a reminder on how you and your administration are delegating some of your time and efforts to get information and work with businesses that are trying to make a stronger America.
Sure, the country is not in the best shape right now and you've been honest about that since you came into office as our leader a few years back. There are things I could complain and criticize about, but whenever I see you speak to us on television I see the urgency in your voice which makes me feel that you are giving your best effort on every endeavor that you work on in your schedule, I feel like you're not singling out any specific group, race, class, sex, etc. and that you have America's best interests (as a whole) in your intentions.
There are times where I hear you speak and I honestly forget that you are the voice of our President because I honestly am not used to hearing such a passionate person talking about our country. Over the past few years I've seen you happy, frustrated, disgusted, optimistic, stern, and a multitude of other emotions when you are informing us on our progress as a country; this makes me feel like you're a friend or colleague more than the Commander in Chief (I totally promise that if I ever meet you I will not forget you're the President). Either you're a good actor or you're in love with America, I'm pretty sure it's the latter.
I understand that you receive a lot of suggestions and opposition on how to do your job, and I'm going to let you know personally I think you're doing everything that you can to lead us to success. So you won't hear any complaints from me in that Department. I want to let you know that I am happy that you are our leader, not because of your race (you are an American just like I am, that's all that matters), not because of your political party (Democrat, Republican, Conservative, Liberal...I am none of these, I am American, whoever in my opinion has the country's best interests at heart will win my vote), where you live (well, you live in the White House right now, the only way I'd be jealous about that is if you have a swimming pool there, if you do have one DON'T TELL ME!), how much money you make (no matter how much money we make as individuals we all need to work together to survive as Americans, though I could always stand to have a little extra money in my pocket, if you're hiring or know somebody that is, I have a great Sales resume!), or any other superficial reason...
I am happy that you are our leader because you give us plans and initiatives, not excuses and finger pointing. You give us hope and ideas for change, not monotony and complacency. Thank you Mr. President. I know you're busy, I don't expect any reply or anything, I just want you to know as a citizen I am here to help you out in whatever way I can just as you've done for us as our President.
Sincerely,
Citizen
Matthew V. Martin (aka Reno)
P.S. - If you ever are in the Milwaukee / Chicago area, and you have some free time, we can do lunch, just let me know a week in advance.
I just want you to know that I watched your State Of The Union speech last night. It was pretty cool, there were many points that you addressed that I agreed with. I'm also happy that you gave many examples of how things in the nation are getting better. It was awesome that you mentioned "Milwaukee, WI" (because that's where I live) in your speech when you were talking about the employment market and how the Master Lock factory is working at capacity because it wants to keep its business and employees in the U.S. In my mind, its a reminder on how you and your administration are delegating some of your time and efforts to get information and work with businesses that are trying to make a stronger America.
Sure, the country is not in the best shape right now and you've been honest about that since you came into office as our leader a few years back. There are things I could complain and criticize about, but whenever I see you speak to us on television I see the urgency in your voice which makes me feel that you are giving your best effort on every endeavor that you work on in your schedule, I feel like you're not singling out any specific group, race, class, sex, etc. and that you have America's best interests (as a whole) in your intentions.
There are times where I hear you speak and I honestly forget that you are the voice of our President because I honestly am not used to hearing such a passionate person talking about our country. Over the past few years I've seen you happy, frustrated, disgusted, optimistic, stern, and a multitude of other emotions when you are informing us on our progress as a country; this makes me feel like you're a friend or colleague more than the Commander in Chief (I totally promise that if I ever meet you I will not forget you're the President). Either you're a good actor or you're in love with America, I'm pretty sure it's the latter.
I understand that you receive a lot of suggestions and opposition on how to do your job, and I'm going to let you know personally I think you're doing everything that you can to lead us to success. So you won't hear any complaints from me in that Department. I want to let you know that I am happy that you are our leader, not because of your race (you are an American just like I am, that's all that matters), not because of your political party (Democrat, Republican, Conservative, Liberal...I am none of these, I am American, whoever in my opinion has the country's best interests at heart will win my vote), where you live (well, you live in the White House right now, the only way I'd be jealous about that is if you have a swimming pool there, if you do have one DON'T TELL ME!), how much money you make (no matter how much money we make as individuals we all need to work together to survive as Americans, though I could always stand to have a little extra money in my pocket, if you're hiring or know somebody that is, I have a great Sales resume!), or any other superficial reason...
I am happy that you are our leader because you give us plans and initiatives, not excuses and finger pointing. You give us hope and ideas for change, not monotony and complacency. Thank you Mr. President. I know you're busy, I don't expect any reply or anything, I just want you to know as a citizen I am here to help you out in whatever way I can just as you've done for us as our President.
Sincerely,
Citizen
Matthew V. Martin (aka Reno)
P.S. - If you ever are in the Milwaukee / Chicago area, and you have some free time, we can do lunch, just let me know a week in advance.
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